9.20.2010

I Can Hear Them Breathe...

If you haven't read the previous post, you might want to do that first before you read on...

Friday...Friday the 17th of September, 2010...a day I will NEVER forget!!! Jeff and I finished up a double date with Steve and Trina Fowler and headed over to the Oregon School for the Deaf. We get there and Scott (test/ear mold guy) gives us hugs and a huge welcome. Apparently he had been waiting for us all afternoon! I guess he was excited to see the follow up from my ugly cry when I realized I was getting 2 new hearing aids...for FREE!

Jeff and I w/ Scott

All of a sudden a woman hands me a little plastic bag w/ 2 new hearing aids, "Kara Brown, right?" She tells me to wait to put them in, so that Dr. Bill Austin can do it. There they are...in my hand. I just sit and look at them, I don't know what will happen when he puts them in...I mean, I know I will hear better, but it couldn't really change my life...could it? could they? 2 little hearing aids?

They even matched the outside to my hair color!

While we are waiting for my turn, our friend from church, Robyn Brown came up. She was so excited for me and asked if she could stay and watch Dr. B put them in. (Robyn had been with the deaf students in Minnesota all week, and had been signing/interpreting and helping with all aspects of the Extreme Home Makeover stuff, she is also the pastor for the deaf at our church - awesome lady!) We were blessed to share this experience with her!

Then it's my turn...he comes over and puts them in my ears...a guy from Starkey has the camera and lights rolling...I feel very much watched and the center of attention, which normally I don't mind, but today I felt really uneasy about it...b/c I didn't know what my response was going to be. I was actually in disbelief at first...I just kind of sat there with tears streaming down my face while he talked to me. I could hear him loud and clear. I could hear and UNDERSTAND him w/o looking at his face! Jeff is just standing there watching w/ tears in his eyes as I am hearing the world for the first time the way he hears it. Then my hubby stands behind me on my right side and says softly, "raise your right hand." So I did, and he claps his hands and says..."That is amazing!"

Jeff, Dr. B, and I...I know, great self portrait...I am short...ok?!?

Dr. B is still talking to me, explaining all the neat stuff about the hearing aids, making sure they fit, and then...Jeff comes up behind me, on my right side, and whispers into my ear. I immediately go into the ugly cry. Dr. B says to the camera guy, "You missed it, he just kissed her on the cheek. Get back over here." I respond to Dr. B and say, "No, he didn't kiss me, he whispered that he loved me...and I HEARD it!" He says, "Wow, I didn't even hear it." To which I responded, "I know a great guy who can hook you up with some amazing hearing aids."

video
This is right after Jeff whispered I love you...

Then...in a matter of minutes all the sounds I have been missing out on for 30 years come crashing into my world...its amazing and overwhelming all at the same time. Little things like when we got into the car I went to buckle up...and I heard the click it makes, so I did it again, and again, and again...Jeff is just laughing at me...I heard the raindrops falling onto the windshield while we drove to pick up our kids.

We get to Logan and Erica Martins house, who have been watching the kids for us, I rush in the door and up the stairs...Caleb says, "Mommy" and I drop down to my knees and cry while I hug him. Hearing his little voice in all it's fullness for the first time...such a flood of emotions. Then I hear Samaria, "are you ok, Mommy?" I sweep her up and cry even harder as I say, "Yes, Mommy has never been better." My children have the most amazing little voices and hearing them completely was one of the most precious moments in my life!

Then after we watched an episode of Chuck on Jeff's laptop...WITHOUT captions...and I heard it all! I went in to brush my teeth and wash my face...I heard the water hit the sink and splash, I heard the toothbrush against my teeth, this was so much fun, I wanted to hear more things. So I went into the kitchen and started opening and closing things, jingled the keys, clinked silverware together, and then I got an idea...I wanted to hear my kids breathe...so I crept into their rooms...and listened...it was perfect!

27 comments:

  1. Seriously? It's too late for me to be crying again! Great post Kara. This God story will go on and on and will include many more amazing stories of the little things you keep hearing. Like someone chewing a banana in your ear. ;)

    God is good...all the time!

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  2. Oh Kara... I sit here with tears streaming down my cheeks... the memories are flooding my mind as i realize this has been a journey washed with tears... the day I sat with a Doctor and heard him tell me that my beautiful little 4 year old couldn't hear... I cried. My denial... my anger... and most of all my guilt... how could I not have known? He said the indicators weren't there... you were smart and could read lips, your language development was actually advanced for your age, that I was not the bad mom I thought I was because your development showed how much time had been spent teaching you... I cried. I wanted to "fix" it, but couldn't. The prayers I prayed. The war of the wills over wearing that first hearing aid... the kids who teased... I cried. Enforcing consequences when you "chose" not to pay attention & tried to use "I didn't hear you" as an excuse... you learned to "listen"... I cried. The frustrated swim coach telling me you wouldn't follow her corrections, I told her you couldn't hear and couldn't read her lips when your face was in the water... she had no idea. Most didn't, because unless you felt "safe" from being looked at as different, you wouldn't tell. All the tears I cried for you into my pillow and now I cry tears of joy with you. Yes, God is good! He answers prayers and he heals! I love you, Mom

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  3. so good Kara!! It's amazing the different ways, the different people God uses to heal us and let us experience life the way he intended us to. Who knows why the Lord didn't give you those hearing aids earlier, but I know this whole journey has made you who you are, and made you appreciate that much more the little whispers of your children. Aww tears when I think of that. This blog gives me hope Kara. Thanks for sharing the before and after....I'm so thankful to God for your new ears!! He is so good.

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  4. Beautiful moments at its best!!! I am so happy for you and loved reading your amazing experience.

    Hugs

    Eileen O'Connor

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  5. Now I've got myself an ugly cry going on! Thanks for sharing your joy with us!!! I'm so very happy for you! What an exciting experience...to hear sounds for the very first time that you hadn't been hearing! I can only imagine! It's caused me to stop and think about the precious gift that my ears are! Kara...enjoy the world in a NEW way! May the awe and wonder of our amazing God just keep overwhelming you! :D

    ~~Carrie

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  6. This is so awesome. I just am so happy for you. I am REJOICING...and I don't use that word lightly. I love you.

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  7. Kara,
    that is an amazing story that made me cry and I haven't scene you in how many years??? I am so happy for you and the blessings that you have been given. Thank you for sharing!

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  8. Tears, smiles, joy.... so stinkin' exciting!!! Love ya' dear friend!!!

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  9. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly Kara. That is why I love you. You are so real and transparent and a great writer. You and Jeff might have to start paper, rock, sissoring for who gets to blog next!

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  10. Totally crying.. and smiling! So cool!

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  11. Amazing! So thankful for what God has done for you! You deserve it all. Now if I could just get rid of my headache from crying while reading this and your moms comment. love you!

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  12. Crying! Love you - thanks for sharing. Your word pictures captured me. I can just see you in the kitchen making noise just for the sake of hearing it. :)

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  13. Thanks for making my life richer. I look forward to getting to know you, Jeff and those beautiful children of yours. We were all blessed to have met.

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  14. Ugly cry going on! This is all so amaaaaaazing. As a mom I read your mom's post and cried with her as she outlined each step...she is a fabulous mom. I know because she has a beautiful, confident, fabulous daughter!

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  15. aww Kara. i am so excited for you. i cannot imagine a better person to receive this blessing. i wish i could get to talk to you soon! :)

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  16. ugh. tears. tears. sobs. tears. kara, you are an amazing woman of God. an fantastic mom. a wonderful wife. and to me... you are a blessed friend. i love you in ways that i can't describe. thank you for helping me survive my first few months in oregon. you deserve this. i am glad you are honored in this spectacular way.

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  17. Kara,
    Thank you for sharing with all of us what God has done for you. It is amazing that He blesses us for His namesake and His glory! Your blessing has caused me to worship our God. Thank you.

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  18. Hooray! Thanks for sharing this incredible milestone in your life with us! So stoked for you and your family.

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  19. I'm sitting her with Priya as I read this post and watch your video. I am bawling! Priya just asked me, "Mommy, are you sad?" I just attempted to explain your story to her and she responded with a huge smile and said, "God gave her a miracle Mommy!" We are both absolutely THRILLED for you!!

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  20. I'm in my ugly cry right now!!! :P
    I heard about you through Mrs. Kepner's comment on FB. I am so glad to learn of your story it's AMAZING!!!...and I'm SOOOOOO HAPPY for you!! :D Thanks for sharing your story! LOVE it!

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  21. Wow. I can't find the words to say how thrilled I am for you, Kara! I just had no idea. It's like you've been born again. Thank you so much for taking the time to share the whole story with us! God loves you so very much!
    Lorie Neighbors

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  22. wow...i love your curiosity with all the new sounds, you brought us into that experience with you. so exciting, and thrilled. Praise God!

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  23. WOW (again) words can't describe the joy I have for you (both). There is so much that hearing people take for granted! You were such a sparkling, joy filled person before your hearing aids - now there's even more to smile about. We are all blessed to know you :-)

    in "His" grip!
    Dale

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  24. When Logan got home that night I tried to tell him how cool it was that you could hear your kids...instead I just cried and shook my head. You dropping to your knees because Caleb says, "Mommy, I play with trains!" I won't forget that moment. You're such a great mom and I love that you get to experience your kids on another level now...even when they reach that head-splitting volume. ;)

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  25. There just are no words to say. I cry because I am so glad that God has blessed you in this manner. I cry because I so badly wanted to be there for that moment. I cry because you did so well at hiding and compensating for what you didn't hear. I cry because I love you and am so thankful for you in my life. We have an awesome God, thank you for showing me a little bit more of His awesomness! Love you to the moon!

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  26. Amazing what kindness and generosity can do to change the life of another, and then another beyond, like the ripples of water when you cast a stone. You have been blessed by such kindness. You are going to hear the world around you like you have never experienced before, from your babies whispering to the neighbor's dog who won't be quiet. So many tears of pain have been shed throughout your life because of your hearing loss, how wonderful to at last shed tears of joy to celebrate your new life of sounds. We love you, your Godparents, Uncle Bill and Aunt Teresa PS: find a crushproof case that is color coordinated with ALL of your outfits!

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  27. I have been meaning to get on here and read this and I just happened to choose breakfast when I did... My eggs and hashbrowns now taste like salt water because my tears have been dripping on my plate. This is an amazing story. After reading it, I realize how much I take for granted every day--hearing. It really was a reality check for me that, when I hear my kids screaming, whining, etc... I have 2 choices: To be thankful I can hear them or to wish I couldn't. I've been wishing the latter of the 2 but after this, I see them in a whole new light. Kara, you are AMAZING. Your strength, courage, and wisdom bless more people than you know--including me. Thank you for sharing this!

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