9.15.2010

Hearing...

So...if you have read our blog before...you know that I don't! Jeff does it...he is the blogger in our family. He is funny, he is great with words, he can make you cry, he can cheer you up, challenge you, and gosh darn it...people like him! Now that we have established that this is a RARE occasion for me, Kara Lee Santos Brown to be blogging...here goes...my first time...
I was born w/ a hearing disability...it was not discovered until I was 4 years old. High Frequency loss amounting to 90 % in my right ear and 10% in my left ear. I was given a hearing aid...undercover word for, make fun of me! I was taken out of class once a week for speech therapy and the best part was they taught me how to read lips. (let me tell you...that has come in handy on numerous occasions!)

The bottom line was that I HATED having a hearing aid, I hated being different, and I hated being told I HAD to do/or wear something. I fought, and I mean fought HARD to get rid of that thing! To the point where I would walk out of the house wearing it to appease my parents and then as SOON as I got to the bus stop I would take it out and put it in my backpack. The bad news - the kids in my class and my teachers did not have a hearing disability and could hear it beeping b/c I would often forget to turn it off in a rush to get it out of my ear and in the backpack as soon as possible. So then I would get busted at home AND at school.

Didn't matter...still fought the hearing aid battle...determination is one of my most endearing qualities. :) just ask my parents! So needless to say I eventually wore them down...6th grade, Jr. High, the mother of all transitions up to that point in my life...they said if my grades did not suffer I did not have to wear my hearing aid to school! Praise the Lord! He does hear and answer prayers! No more speech therapy, no more hearing aid, no more being made fun of, no more being different!

It never affected my grades! It affected other things in my life though...music is hard for me to follow b/c I can't make out the lyrics. That is one of the reasons I love worship music so much, I know the words b/c they are on a screen every week at church. Movies in the theater...fun for most, for me very frustrating b/c if the screen is not showing the person who is talking I can't read their lips and I miss what they are saying. Whisper to me...hahaha Not a chance I can hear that. Missing out on things said...my friends always having to repeat themselves. Never being able to put the phone on my right ear. And the list goes on...

Now lets fast forward, graduated from college, got married to the man of my dreams, we got pregnant with our first baby...I didn't want to miss my little one cry, coo, or say uv u (love you) for the first time! So with some money saved up and a loan from Jeff's parents (Thanks Mom and Dad Brown) we went and purchased a hearing aid for Mama Kara. It was sufficient, enough to help, but nothing to write home about...we had a budget to stick with and a baby on the way, not to mention insurance does not cover them!

And then we had our little bundle of joy, Caleb...and that same bundle of joy (a year and a half later) stepped on my purse, which happened to have the hearing aid in it...yup...he smashed it to smithereens! My bad for taking it out and putting it in my purse...but those things itch after they are in your ear all day long! Needless to say, insurance still doesn't cover them, we have 2 babies and bills to pay...Mama Kara is back to reading lips and "what did you say again?"

In the meantime being blessed w/ friends and family who repeat themselves a million times, watch tv shows and movies w/ captions on, running buddies who always run on my left side so when they are talking and breathing hard I can hear them, tilting the rear view mirror down when I am in the backseat so I can read their lips and not be left out, and so much more!!!

Fast Forward to September 13, 2010...I get a text from my running buddy Erik, and I quote, "what is ur deafness called?" I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face. Turns out he is talking to Dr. Bill Austin, who is at the Extreme Home Makeover site, which happens to be the Oregon School for the Deaf - here in Salem! Erik says, "get over here, they will give you a hearing test"...in my mind I am thinking...Erik, I already know I am deaf! And Jeff and I are supposed to have a date night, and I don't want to go get tested again, we don't have money for another one, blah, blah, blah. Jeff says, lets just go...so we do...pack up the kids and head out. They give me a test...yup...still deaf!

Scott (test/ear mold guy) starts asking me questions about my hearing loss...what is hard? What do you wish you could hear? What is the hardest thing for you about your hearing loss? This is when tears start...I realize how much I truly miss out on...I have just always adapted...but in truth...I miss a lot of what my kids say. I miss out on one of my husbands gifts and passions in music. I miss out on getting sweet little whispers in my ears from my kiddos...b/c I can't hear them...so they don't do it! I miss the cute things they say and sing in the back of the car b/c I can't always tilt the rear view mirror to see their lips.

What I don't realize...until they are making molds for BOTH of my ears (I have only had 1 in my right ear before) is that...they are making molds for in ear hearing aids...this means they think I am getting TWO hearing aids!?! I stopped Scott and let him know, we don't have the money for this, and I have never had 2 before, only 1...he looks at me confused and says, "how did you hear about this?" I fill him in on Erik and the free test. Scott looks at me w/ tears in his eyes and says, "this is a $3,000.00 hearing test Kara. You are getting not 1 but 2 FREE hearing aids today." This is when the ugly cry starts...I can't believe it...and these are not just hearing aids...these are the Best of the Best! (I know...I sound like an old lady...off to a nursing home!) Jeff comes over, I explain, we both burst into tears...Scott is tearing up w/ us...and says to Jeff, "date night will never be the same, you can go to the movies now!"

Wow...I am in awe of how God chose to heal me! I have been praying for my ears to be made new for as long as I can remember! I want to hear what my husband plays...completely! I want to hear my kids...even when I am not looking at their faces! I am sure all my family and friends want me to stop asking, "what did you say again?" Thank you for always repeating yourselves! Thank you Erik for being that friend...like the friends in Mark 2:4! Thank you Dr. Bill Austin for your generosity! Thank you Jeff for pushing me to go for the "free hearing test" when I just wanted a date night w/ you...life will never be the same husband! Thank you Extreme Home Makeover for coming to Salem! Thank You God...for hearing me...healing me...loving me...and saving me!!!

29 comments:

  1. oh my goodness, i just might do the ugly cry!! great, i actually made it up early enough to put mascara on and now that is ruined!! oh, kara, i am so happy for you. so thankful for this answer to prayer! can't wait to hear stories of your new life!

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  2. Happy tears streaming down my cheeks. I am so grateful to our amazing God...for the gift OF you and for His gift TO you. Love you, Kara!!
    Mama Schilling

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  3. i love it. absolutely love it. well written too my friend. you should do the bloggin' thang more often. that story will be told and re-told for years. what a gift on so many levels.

    shannon

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  4. Oh girl, tears in my eyes. We truly have an awesome God and I am so thankful that He chose to give this gift to you. You have adapted, made do and hidden your hearing problem so well I forget but to hear your heart in this post and know that you have missed a lot and all that is going to change is so very amazing! I love you to the moon and am so blessed to have you in my life!

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  5. Kara,
    I don't cry at blogs.

    Tears are rollin' down my cheeks. Jeff just asked me what is wrong.

    Happy, happy tears. I love this story. I love you.

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  6. I am so happy for you and we truly have a lot in common with our stories. Crazy! God is amazing and works in ways we have no idea even exist! So excited for you and your new hearing. I still like reading lips but love hearing all the little noises my little guy makes. Plus, I think my family and friends appreciate not having to repeat themselves. I am just so happy for you!!

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  7. So, so, so awesome!
    Even Kerick almost cried when I read it to him! Excited for you!

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  8. So...I know the story...I was there...I shed the tears like crazy the first time...and then every time I have told others the story...tears...tears...more tears. I thought I was done crying about this one. Guess not.

    I have a hard time just imagining the moment you realized what was happening...

    God is good...all the time.

    He was good before this happened and is still good now!

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  9. I must say your first blog entry rocks. You made me smile, you made me laugh and as I write, you have made me cry. Glory to God and the amazing ways He works!!!

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  10. Very, very, very happy for you cousin!

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  11. Woohoo! I love reading and hearing this story over and over and over again. God loves you so so much and I'm stoked he has given this precious gift to you!

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  12. OK, I'm joining everyone writing through tears - thank you Lord! I know the struggle from living with my dear dad who dealt with the same disability and has felt so isolated at times. I've been amazed at how you have NOT let it stop you from being fully involved in life and the hundreds of people who call you friend!!

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  13. Wow! Triple wow! I sat across from your Mom when you called to tell her you would be able to hear your children's voices with "normal" hearing for the 1st time. It was a powerful moment we shared through our tears. We have always wanted you to be able to hear the part of the world around you that was missing, and now, thanks to the generosity of others, it's a dream about to come true. We love you, Aunt Teresa & Uncle Bill

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  14. Yay for Brown Sound! Loved the blog, but really really love how God works. Praise and Glory to Him!

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  15. So blessed by your story Kara. I so love when God shows up and does things you never expect for you (they are always stories you hear about other people). What an amazing God! Thanks for sharing, can't wait for you to show them off :-)
    In "His" grip!

    Dale & Susan Labrum

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  16. That is SO beautiful! We serve such an AWESOME God! I don't know you personally but I DO know that He never fails and when I think on his goodness, it brings tears to my eyes. I am crying tears of joy with you.l Continue to be blessed and give Him all the praise!

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  17. what an AMAZING God we have!!! I of course cried like everyone else reading your post Kara....I'm so excited for you and this AWESOME moment in your life!!!! Thank you for sharing your story, your always helping and encouraging others and if there's anyone who deserved this it was definitely you! =)

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  18. This was an amazing blog and story.!! Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this. I am so happy for you and God has truly blessed you and I wish you happiness.

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  19. There is no way I will hear better news today. May God bless Erik for thinking of you, the Dr. for his generosity and you as you enjoy the quiet whispers of life!

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  20. Thanks for reminding me that is GOD is Awesome!!! I will never forget your story.

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  21. I'm crying. Seriously, sitting at my desk SOBBING. What a beautiful story Kara. Love you guys. God is so wonderful, isn't he?!

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  22. I cried when I read this on Erik's blog, I have cried every time I have told this story too. I am so happy for you and what God has done and is doing with this story!!
    Thank you for sharing!

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  23. Thanks for the heads up to come read the blog - it was well worth it. I'm happy for you friend. God is so very, very good.

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  24. God is amazing! This ended when you knew you would receive the new "ears" - please don't leave us hanging. We need another entry telling us what it's like living with the sounds of life. We'll be waiting for the update! Oh, and don't take them out and leave them in your purse:)

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  25. Kara, that is absolutely amazing! Add me to the list of readers with tears streaming down my cheeks. God is good! What an amazing story of His provision! Love you!!

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  26. Now I'm doing the ugly cry!!!!!! I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones or your story, actually it's probably both. God certainly answers prayers in the most unusual ways. I'm so so so happy for you!!!!!

    Esther D

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  27. Very happy for you Kara. You are truly blessed. Amen.

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  28. So blessed to have seen you HEAR your kids! I love that you experienced a little miracle and I'm praying you adapt as well to your "new ears" as you did to living without them. Love you! SO happy for you!

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